Doesn’t it make you go wild?
You are addressing an abuse situation and people are trying to minimize it by calling it something else when the behaviour is clearly abusive.
Let’s see how many minimizing labels or terms we can think of.
- it was undermining
- just a personality conflict
- she is being difficult
- he is challenging
- it was just discipline
- she/he asked for it
- she/he deserved it
- it was just discussion
- just defending myself
- stop being a drama queen,
- it wasn’t ‘that’ bad
- don’t annoy him
- It was as much my fault as his
- I wound him up/made him angry
- “It’s not like it was rape.”
- ‘you need to be more understanding towards him’
- he had a hard life
- she didn’t know any better
- others experienced worse
- just get over it
- he/she was so young
- Well, he does work really hard to keep food on the table and, pay the bills..I’m just way too sensitive.
I have started using the ‘abuse’ word more and more. We need to call it what it is and not try to diminish abusive actions by re-labelling them as something more socially acceptable.
By disguising ’abuse’ it is much easier to dismiss it, not respond to it, and by association dismiss or minimize the impact of abusive actions on victims. It is much easier to sweep abuse under the carpet or ignore it.
As a victim of abuse I feel a responsibility to talk frankly about abuse and call it what it is. With this goes a responsibility to not use the ‘abuse’ label without merit. If I do I think I dilute the power that lies behind the word ‘abuse’
I’d love to hear from you!!!!!! Please send your inspiration!!!!!!
Have a great day!