hi, I want to thank people for the tremendous interest in my twitters and this blog over the weekend. As a result I think it is a good time to explain what this blog is about.
I am an abuse survivor and a clinical psychologist. I have been extremely fortunate to have been able to be quite successful in moving through the clouds and into clearer skies. However, everyday I am surrounded by more examples of abuse whether it is child, spousal, sexual, emotional, or workplace abuse. I find people in many different stages of being able to cope with it and move on. I encounter new abuse scenarios personally on a regualar basis and often to need to say ‘no’ to abuse. Yes, I can be a bit of a crusader in this regard.
This blog is about a few things. First lets talk frankly about abuse, it’s impact and more importantly how we move on to healthy relationships with ourselves and others. To often we think that abuse is something that we just need ‘to get over’. From my personal and clinical perspective it just does not work that way. We always have something new to learn about ourselves as we challenge ourselves to be the best of who we can be. I am more concerned when an abuse survivor thinks there is not more to learn because often that suggests they may be vulnerable to more abuse.
Let’s talk about the positive things we learn about our selves as well as the challenges that we experience. Perhaps others can share something that worked for them.
I often find myself saying that I wish I could change abuse that happened to someone I am working with but I can’t. I go on to say that you can choose to lead a healthy productive life. It may mean walking through some pain to get there but you can do it. This blog is about people walking together on that journey to a healthier place.
This blog is not about ‘woe is me’. It is about survivors and celebrating the resiliency of the human spirit. It is not about blaming abusers nor excusing them. It is about just talking about what is. I will never mention names or identifying locations as I discuss my own experiences. I would ask that as you write you do the same. More often I will pull out questions or thoughts about overall themes.
It is about learning from our experiences so that we do not find ourselves repeating the scenario. Unfortunately often people repeat patterns. By learning about ourselves hopefully we can prevent that and share our knowledge with others at the same time.
Abuse regularly travels through generations passed from one abused generation to the next. This blog is about trying to stop that.
It is about providing encouragement to others as they walk through their own clouds and showing through stories that there can be sunny days ahead.
It is about working to stop abuse in all its forms.
This blog is not ‘therapy’. I am writing as an abuse survivor who has thought a lot about it and not from a clinical perspective (although my training and experience certainly colours my thoughts).
I hope that as you join me on my journey of learning that you will also find yourself learning about yourself.
I also hope that you will join me often so it can be a discussion and not a monologue.
I’d love your feed back as we go. Tell me what is of interest, what is not, what helps, what does not, etc.